Hello, everybody. This is Shane. arm and row. You’re in the passenger seat with me. passenger seat radio. It is December 27, Wednesday 2017. The countdown to 2018 begins and ends right here on passenger seat radio. Welcome to the show.
All right, well, we’ve had plenty of time for
the last gen I spoilers to unravel. So it’s time for me to discuss my specific feelings about said show. And I’m gonna try to make this not the whole topic of conversation because I have other stuff I want to talk about. But Brian hold San Hey, now
get on the freeway here you don’t need expressway I’m actually not going home. I’m going to frys to probably once again be disappointed. Picking up a Wi Fi extender for the house. I have. I have a lot of trouble getting decent signal back to my bedroom. And it’s usually not a problem. But my wife’s been playing that stupid Animal Crossing on her tablet. You know the was that camp or Park camp or whatever the hell it is horrible stuff. She loves it though. Jeffrey said. What’s up, man? jeopardy. So I’m going to swing by there. Pick up a nice extender. I would like to tell you which one it is. But I don’t remember. But I did plenty of research to make sure it was appropriate dual band The whole bit. I’m very, very excited. has to be some Wi Fi in the back room. Alright, so let’s get on with the last Jedi review. Let me tell you about this movie
show. Okay, so let me explain to you what I did not like about it.
I will let you know Brian, what I find with y Wi Fi extent. I think everybody needs one. But nobody wants to actually like do the research and set it up and make sure it’s good. I mean, I know I didn’t I just put it off and put it off. And now it’s to the point where my wife’s all pissed. August can’t play lacrosse. And and my wife is getting a switch tomorrow coming in the mail and Nintendo Switch. And she’s going to want to play in the bedroom. So not that there’s nearly the need as a mobile device to have Wi Fi back there. But you definitely want to have it for the leaderboards and things like that. So
yeah, nobody. Yeah, Wi Fi, Wi Fi extenders. One of those things everyone wants and they need but you know, they just don’t want to spend the time just buy a bigger, better, bigger and better router. And hopefully it’ll get back there. I guess. I don’t know.
All right. So last Jedi. Let’s talk about first of all, that movie is totally saveable, a sketch craft. What’s
up man and Merry Christmas to you, too.
So the movies totally saveable. And I think once the thing hits blu ray, maybe sooner, there will be a fan edit of some sort, sort of like that Phantom edit that was made on the original Phantom Menace prequel. I think the last Jedi could be saved with some very, very creative editing. First of all, there’s so much nonsense in it, you can easily cut out 40 or 50 minutes out of that movie, he would have all the nonsense we’re going to talk about the nonsense in a minute and once you cut out all the nonsense you’d have a nice tight 90 minute cut of the film and I think it would actually be completely watchable
so let’s talk about the nonsense that’s involved Okay, so first off
there there there’s an ongoing efforts by major motion pictures to
to get rid of the white male.
And in this case, in most of times, they overcompensate right, so now
nobody in charge is male. I’m surprised that they’re actually white females that are in charge. Still,
the fat white guys the first one to go to down
it looks like an ad for a diversity school pamphlet. Or they’re flipping through the x wings.
Let’s make sure we get everybody Hey, you know, would be great. Let’s get a little chunky Asian woman to be like one of the heroes on the show. Would that be great? Let’s
do that.
It’s like somebody. It’s like, they sit around the room. Now listen, I am all about equality. Right? If if you have a part for a pilot, or a part for a character in a movie, and three guys show up it’s a male part. So sorry, it can’t be a female but it’s a male part three guys show up an Asian guy a black and white guy the best actor should get the job the one that that you know best fulfills the needs of the movie.
Now in this case, I get the feeling that they sat around inside of a room and said First of all, everybody within any sort of power position is going to be female we’re going to start with that
and next off for everybody else. Let’s get the lineup done. Who’s got the chart get the chart out here they got a chart that’s got like all the nationalities and ethnicities and all that
stuff. It’s it’s like
I’d be I’d be pissed if I were
What are these? These
academic actors want to act so I don’t give a rat’s ass but if I were put into a film because I fit a billet I would be very upset about that
what’s even worse is Finn i mean you know everyone felt that he was sort of a force to token black guy in The Force Awakens. least I did. Have you ever seen or heard of a black Stormtrooper? Of course, but we had to have one for this because we started our road of diversity right there
but forget about that they totally fucked that poor guy over in this movie.
So not only did they give him absolutely nothing to do they send me a lot of bullshit quest anything that can see now of all things they gave him nothing to do no acting ratio order. This guy’s off doing frickin indie films all the time. It means something to do because Star Wars a look at him right he got stuck with the little fat Asian chick. And I can say fat because I am fat low fat Asian girl and and he had that weird awkward you know, ethnic kiss at the you know, so it was horrible, horrible movie in that respect. So first of all, take that whole rose fans storyline. Break it down to about 10 minutes. That’s that’s all you need for that story.
The whole thing you know, every time every time you turn around, you’re asking what the fuck is that? We win rate went down into the black hole under the island. What the fuck was that? The mirror a bunch of copies of her. What? What do we got? At least when? When Luke went into the dark tree? You know, on day goodbye. There was some going on. You knew it was going on. There was something going on. And speaking of Yoda, you know, listen first. Hats off to them for keeping it a practical effect. For the most part. There was some CGI cleanup on him. But that’s okay. I’ll let that pass. You know, you had Frank
Oz doing it.
You had a real puppet. Good for you. I thank you for that. But why the fuck Yoda? It makes no sense when you’re talking about I mean, think about it. If you’re gonna have a forced ghost appear. Who’s the route makes complete sense. Yoda,
who makes sense is Obi Wan
Kenobi. One should have been there. You know why? Because it’s these parallel story, right? He had. He had an apprentice and the apprentice went to the dark side. While a blood Obi Wan should be the one sitting there talking to them. It’s completely obvious when we get Yoda.
Listen. I know sir. Alec Guinness is dead. But come on. Give a CG everybody else. Which can’t CG a ghost. Alec. Guinness. Alec. Guinness. Get out here. Total mistake. It says. One. Two. Force. ghosts have the power to like. Bring lightning and shut down. You know, none of this is. Can
Princess Leia
floating through space. What the fuck was that? Bullshit. Listen, the actress died. What a perfect opportunity to let her go. But no, we couldn’t happen.
So we gave her some fucking gas. Know again. Non canon forced power you know, for for wanting to for wanting to exclude the extended cannon. You know be extended universe cannon there. Sure. pretty fucking free and easy with the existing cannon. You know that.
So we got her
floating through space. Get the fuck out of here. So that’s another one is once
you know,
Ray grew up in a desert with no water. But she knows how to swim. I love that. That was a new one. It was brought to my attention time after time. after time after time. You’re sitting there with your mouth hanging open watching this going. What the fuck was that?
So yeah, like I said, Get rid of all the get rid of all that shit.
Most of the most of the opening sequence was pretty much a waste. You know what I’m saying? So let’s cut that movie down. Make it a tight 90 minutes. Give her the nonsense in this whole thing. Snow going down. That easy. Even the Emperor didn’t go down. That easy. It was a crusty old guy you know about whole thing in the Red Room with all the Jedi guards get so fucking stupid. That whole scene was stupid.
And it was all it was all there to just be a pretense.
Now one thing you’re going to find out once the movie gets released a home video and people can actually make side by side shots on YouTube, you’re going to find that almost an entire movie was built out of shots from the original trilogy. Almost everything in there sometimes for beta voice in everything and then dialogue or like scene for scene from the original trilogy.
The whole thing with looping a hologram What the fuck again, we have no cannon for this. There’s no no establishment for anything. Nothing and him happy to fucking disappeared. They Fuck that. You know what, all this these movies are nothing more than an exercise to destroy the existing cannon so they can do whatever the fuck they want. That’s what these movies were
right? Poor Mark Hamill. He goes on record saying he doesn’t approve. They said Mickey Mouse over to kick his ass. We’re here. He said. They’re kicking the fuck out of it. And also mark handles. All I didn’t really mean in the show was okay. You know, I probably should have spoken out over creative differences that was private and get the fuck out of here.
Let’s see what else what else bothered the shit out of me about that. I could go on and on the whole movies. Nothing but you know the part where they had the head speed spoon feed everything to like when she was eating one of the little poor things. They had to feed on it. No. Fucking foul. would be ever Cree ever process to be either where they left bleep the feed on it. Chop off the head of the feet. That’s what you do when you cook foul on any plan. And I guarantee it right. But then leave the feed on so that everybody knew that she was gonna you know, everybody knew she was gonna eat one of those poor reports. Ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba
so stupid everything had to be and fed you was disturbing.
So you know, again, you can all the nonsense out you might get somewhere. And you know, there were a couple of moments that you know, it’s like how are you gonna just pitch pitch pitch like anything? I did like a couple of things when our today to try to guilt trip loop by playing the older recording of Princess Leia. Fantastic. And Luke even had the right response to that. That was fantastic.
I like the kids at the end with the force powers. I like that.
What else? I like not. Not a ton more. Well, didn’t you like the hyperspace scene? Where were you know. Laura Dern through the the. The rebel ship into the destroyers and kill them. Okay. First of all, no cannon for that. Take back. D back deep. There’s no cannon. They they hyperspace. Does anything close up? Yeah, they talk console to talk to Luke Skywalker, about traveling through hyperspace, and needing correct coordinates. Or you might end up in a an asteroid field. When you land or when you arrive. There is no talk about having to
having to worry about that as a close up thing never brought up happened to be. That’s the tacky on field of this movie. Right? Just like in Voyager. Anytime, something bad’s gonna happen. The ship two seconds left in the movie. All is lost. Everyone’s gonna die. enterprises screwed Oh, well. We read modulated a tacky on field. And now everything’s good. Blah, blah, blah. More bullshit.
horrible. Horrible, horrible. Everyone thinks that’s the greatest part of the movie tune. It’s like, No, it’s not. You know Why else? It’s not the greatest part of the movie. Because despite the fact that everybody on board to see appears to be killed. The entire ship is ruined. It’s not at first of all, it didn’t. It didn’t blow up. I’ve seen ships take two or three laser bolts and blow up this one supposedly had a ship hyperspace through it. And it’s still standing but everybody’s dead. Right? Except for you know as much she means to stay alive. But everyone else is dead.
Oh and look untouched. Perfectly ready? right by the escape hatch escape. ship a shuttle Right.
Right there. Perfect. pristine, not even touched. Ready for their escape.
Get What the fuck is wrong with them.
Alright, so that’s pretty much it. That is
that is everything that I can come up with. Immediately. That was wrong with it. Which is most of the movie cut it down to 90 minutes. Get rid of the nonsense and we might have at least something that’s watchable.
Other than that, yeah, you know, it is what it is. And what it is, is these movies are required to destroy the existing cannon the existing universe, they can move on to their happy politically correct. Female power. You know what, there are no black stormtroopers? What, of course, there were, let’s have more of them. I mean, whatever. I don’t even care anymore. It’s obvious to me. These movies are no longer for me. And they haven’t been for I don’t know, four or five movies. At this point. I have to accept that the Star Wars that I love the original trilogy. It’s it’s that’s it. That’s all like, Yeah, that’s it for me. Everybody else? You know,
everybody else gets the new Star Wars and they can love it. That’s fine. But it’s not for me. It’s just not for me.
Alright, well, enough of that nonsense.
Um, let’s see. What else do I have? I’ve literally got like, two seconds before I end up at frys will have to be getting out of the car. But
yeah, let me see. Holiday discussion. Christmas went pretty quiet. Not much going on. It was low key, trying to think I did get it. And I will share this with everybody. Surely,
I got the greatest gift that any 40 something guy can possibly get the group of video games. I got a warp pipe, plant puppet. And it’s fantastic. It’s a puppet. And you put your hand in the word pipe. And inside is a plant a fully fully articulated plant. And you can make it pop up and you can make it look around. You can make him say feed me see more. It’s fantastic. I plan on using that puppet for many, many things. It’s going to appear in reviews. It’s going to have photo shoots all over the place. possibly the greatest thing ever is
is my plant my plant
warp to puppet.
So I’m very, very excited to have gotten that for Christmas.
Let’s see. Yeah, I mean, last year was a witch or Christmas, which was fantastic. This year was sort of nondescript, I did get a T shirt that said,
lettuce is the saddest makes women What is it? Lettuce, the saddest thing you’ll ever eat or something like that. It’s fantastic. It’s perfect for my diet. And it’s a size smaller than I’m used to wearing and it fits. So for those of you who are interested in my weight loss. Even over the holidays, I managed to lose weight and I am down 2627 pounds, I think 27 pounds. It’s fantastic. All right. Let’s and I am here. I’d like to sit here and keep talking. But I’m not going to. This is Shane arm and row passenger seat radio. We’ll see you next time. Take care everybody.
